#23

Today I am thankful for clear enough skies to be able to see some stars. Often in the city, there is too much light pollution to see anything up there, but I could tonight. Not a cloud in the sky.

It’s a welcome reminder that whatever my mind is fixated on does not fucking matter. It is a small, insignificant detail, within this gigantic world. It would do me good to remember this, regularly.

#22

Today marks eleven years since I moved to Chicago. It also makes five years since Marc had brain surgery. Both are worth celebrating, for such very different reasons. So much has changed. We are both different people now than we used to be.

He already had Monday off work for MLK day and took today off, to have a long weekend together. I am loving it, especially because of the current weather. It snowed several inches on Friday and now it’s in the single digits. It’s really nice to not have anywhere to be, together.

Currently, I am smelling delicious scents of apple and cinnamon filling our apartment, he’s making some kind of apple bread. The oven is warming the apartment. I am drinking wine. And I am just so very thankful to be exactly where I am right now.

#21

Today, I am thankful for the beautiful snow. Sawyer loves it, I have great snow boots to walk in, and even though there’s inches of snow, it’s not that cold out. Could be worse!

And I’m always thankful for this one, but once again… relieved that I was able to get a pretty heavy workload done today, from home. The best part about the snow is that I did not have the commute in it. So very thankful for the opportunity to make money from home!

#20

Lots of people walk by the office, and stare into the floor to ceiling, wall to wall window. Today, I noticed a blind guy walk past with his cane. And I realized, he likely isn’t even aware of this office that most people stare into, so absent-mindedly.

It made me thankful for my own vision, however terrible it might be without glasses or contacts. At least I am able to stare at people, places, and things, as I walk past them.

#18

I am thankful to say goodbye to this year, this decade. A lot happened this year. A lot that taught me who I am and what I truly want.

I said goodbye to an incredibly beloved pet, a job I actually loved, my single life, my independence, my dreams of fostering all the animals. Some of these goodbyes were rough, not gonna lie.

But I am thankful for everything that happened, without those experiences, I wouldn’t be as wise as I am today.

I am ready to say hello to new experiences. Continued learning and bigger growth. Onward and upward!

#17

I am thankful to be with someone I truly love spending time with. It wasn’t that long ago when I was lonely and alone all the time. I remember how rough it can be. How much dating sucks. How much it sucks to just hang out with people you don’t even like that much, just to be social. Or how much it sucks to go to a bar, alone, because none of your “friends” are available, and you just don’t wanna be home.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of fun alone, sometimes. I think I might even enjoy talking to strangers more than I enjoy talking to people I know. It somehow makes me feel less anxious when I know I’ll likely never see this person again. I LOVE my alone time. And I will always need a good solo recharge, I am truly an introvert for life. I cannot spend a whole lot of time and energy around certain people. Some people are really exhausting for me.

I am married to, live with, and spend every single day with my favorite person alive. And yes, I definitely need my alone time, but we can “be alone” in the same room together, and I am just as comfortable. I’m happy to sit in the same room as him. I prefer sitting on the couch watching tv with him, over going out, spending money, and giving myself a headache.

A lot of people might think that’s lame and boring. I think it’s just a-okay.

#15

Today, I am thankful for the memories I have from living with Lynden.

She got me in our group’s secret Santa, the gift arrived today. She got me a cute candle with Sawyer’s face on it, he got a treat as well, and some other goodies.

But besides what I received… When I saw it came from Oregon, I instantly knew who it was from, and it put a smile on my face. I am thankful for the memories of such a fun time in my life. That apartment we shared on Dodge, was one of my favorites.

Also, a learning experience: you will never need as much paint as the paint salesman says you will.

#14

It has been a while, I have quite a few today, they may be repeats. Repeats are even more worth the share because they just keep on giving. And it’s been so long, I am bursting at the seams with appreciation for this life.

First, I am thankful for all the produce in my fridge. The fact that I can afford it. The fact that it was straight up delivered to me. The fact that I’ve had a full week of healthy eating. I already feel better and have lost 3.8 lbs. It’s just the beginning of a long distance marathon. Maybe I’ll take up running..? Nah, probably not.

First.5, I am thankful for my good pal, Carrie, who got me back into weight watchers. She brought it up and 5 minutes later, I was meal planning. Maybe I’ll cancel in a couple months, but it’s always a good way to start again. I just need the motivation to pay attention to what I’m eating. That’s all you really need, up to a certain point.

First x3, I am thankful for the photos of my boss’ client appreciation event that made me realize how much weight I’ve put on! I did not like the way I looked at all, and it’s those photos that kicked my ass into gear. I know what I need to do, I just need to stop being so lazy. Each time I fall down, it takes that much longer to get back up. Hoping I can stay up this time.

Second, my husband. This time of year, I used to always feel so lonely. My family is far away and not in strong contact. My closest friends are far away. Chicago is a cold, dreary city this time of year. Most the friends I have made here, have since moved away. This year, for the first time in a long time, I am really looking forward to the holidays. Is it the being married part? Because not much else has changed since last year.

Third, my dog. I never could have imagined adopting a dog would be so incredibly easy. He is a dream come true. I’d wish I’d done it sooner, but if I’d done that.. I wouldn’t have ended up with this guy. I love him. Double bonus, I get to say hi to all the neighborhood pups without just being the weird girl who wants to pet your dog.

Fourth, my apartment. Working in real estate, I am constantly on the lookout for an affordable place. And there is just nothing in Chicago that is as cheap as my place is. Sure, I don’t own, but that just means any issues aren’t my problem. Sure, this is a shitty old building, but even if we left, I’d still be drawn to old… old means character. Sure, laundry in-unit would be ideal, but at least it’s in the building.

Fifth, my work that allows me to do endless, brainless, data entry type work, which I actually thoroughly enjoy, contrary to the populace. But also, I am being given the opportunity to utilize my puzzle-solving, organizational skills. Some people are creative, I am ORGANIZED… it’s a form of creativity, in my mind.

Fifth.5.. This morning, I rolled out of bed and started working. Not having to commute for an hour, to go 3 miles, and having to wake up an hour earlier than that, to get presentable, is something to be thankful for. The companies of tomorrow will all operate, remotely.

Fifth x3, I do work for multiple people at the moment, but I am thankful that I truly admire each of them, individually. I enjoy working with each one of them, in a different way. It is impossible to feel burnt out when you have such a variety of day-to-day material.

I took such a massive leap into the dark and I could not be more thankful for that, today. All I want to do is take more scary leaps and see where I land. In my experiences, the scarier the leap, the better the outcome. But maybe I’m just lucky?