Sometimes I get so consumed with bad thoughts that I really start to believe that everything horrible my brain can think up, must be the complete and total truth. And then, just to exaggerate the ridiculous… I will waste way too much thought, time and energy, looking/digging/searching for tiny details to prove all my tragic theories accurate. When all the while, I’m only hoping for someone to fight me and show me that I’m wrong. However, throwing the first punch never ends well. And I really need to learn to stop getting so wrapped up in my own mind and just relax for once.
And sometimes, I really wish I could convey my thoughts without conversation, because I’m really bad at talking.
how many times did I type the word ‘really’ in this post
I’m glad I’m not the only one delaying adulthood for as long as possible.
I got a 10% raise. Go me! Still should probably find that mythical part time job I’ve been daydreaming about. I am so determined to get out of debt from being ripped off the first year living here, it’s all I can think about. Every penny I spend is closely calculated and part of a budget.
So, I think I’ll post progress updates. As of today, right now, the total amount I owe to credit cards: -$3,268.45. Not too bad, I mean, could definitely be worse, and it was. I just really despise the monthly fee and interest rate charges. Projected pay off completion month is April 2011.
At that point, there are a few things I want, need immediately / asap / right away:
- My own place.
- Gym membership.
- Health insurance. Along with this comes new contacts, glasses, dentist. And getting my damn always-in-pain wrist, checked out.
- A sweet bike.
- Lots and lots of new clothes.
- A dart board & a hammock.
I think I’m done with photo-a-day. It gets hard coming up with something worth looking at when you only see the same things every day. Someday, I won’t feel so trapped and restricted, and maybe my life will be fun and interesting again.
Our landlord never cashed my check last month. I’ve never met him or even spoken to him and he doesn’t return any phone calls. So, I didn’t want to send another check out into the abyss until we heard from him. It’s now half way through the month and we haven’t heard a thing.
The neighbors say their checks haven’t been cashed since October. So uh.. I’m not sure what to do about that? Not that I mind living here for free, but something’s not right here and it’s gotten me worried. And I’m not sure how to avoid the possible impending doom of paying OR not paying rent.
However, I get to come home to my favorite person everyday. So, there’s that and that’s good.
To be understood without speaking a word is the most comforting feeling ever.
To be misunderstood, no matter what is said, is the worst feeling ever.
I could spend hours, days, weeks, just talking… some of these thoughts would still never be comprehended. And that’s fine, I can live with that. But the worst is when I’m viewed harshly because of any misguidance in the words I chose. Or the attitude I didn’t mean to convey, by just saying nothing at all.
“In human intercourse the tragedy begins, not when there is misunderstanding about words, but when silence is not understood.” – Henry David Thoreau
I have no idea what the above says, but I like this design a lot (even if it is kind of a subtle ad for Starbucks). If you can translate, please inform me.
I’ve got nothing else to say, so here’s a couple songs for ya.
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