Today I am thankful for the reminder that I have survived 100% of what I have lived through.
Whatever life throws at me will be interesting, enlightening, and just the kind of challenge I enjoy.
Today, I am thankful to have an answer to what’s been plaguing me and my body for the last two years of my life.
A little background, my body hurt. My back hurt (more than usual). My hips hurt, constantly. At one point, I had sciatica so bad I couldn’t walk for three days, not an exaggeration. I got constant headaches, migraines, lights hurt my eyes. I could hear this crunching sound in the back of my neck whenever I ascended stairs. I could hear crinkling in my left ear, randomly, which… let me tell you… freaked me the hell out.
I went to a doctor, who referred me to another doctor, who referred me to another. I had hearing tests, I had balance tests, I saw a chiropractor, I tried acupuncture, I tried muscle relaxers. Everything helped, but only temporarily. Every doctor I saw was basically, in a rush, and contributed it to stress. One doc after another, “you sure you’re not stressed?”
No, I did not consider myself stressed, at the time. But the idea of everyone telling me that I was stressed made me doubt myself and my entire existence. “Am I really super stressed and lying to myself? Am I THAT out of tune with my emotions? Do I not know my boundaries? Is my body trying to tell me I can’t handle this? Do I really not know how much I can handle? Can I handle nothing? Who am I? What is this?!?!”
Let me tell ya something else… worrying about being stressed, stressed me the f out.
Fast forward to two months ago, I sprain my ankle, which totally sucks. It has been really really really annoying. I put off going to a doctor because of covid, but when it started to get worse, I finally went. X-ray, MRI, weeks of chasing MRI results. I am now in physical therapy.
I have learned that a sprain from 17 years ago did not heal properly, making this sprain kind of on top of that. But more recently, and more pressing, a toe fracture that happened two years ago never healed. I thought it got better, but what actually happened was I accommodated the pain and gradually walked differently on that foot. Which is another way of saying, I walked crooked, but only on one foot. That crookedness moved up my body and fucked my shit up.
This accommodation can be attributed to every single detail of all my discomfort over the last two years. It was never stress, it was simply my tendency to be overly accommodating, even when it hurts me. *Insert mind blowing up here*
Yes, I need to strength my ankle. And yes, I need to keep my stress level in check. But the bigger picture here is self care is a real thing. You don’t have to be stressed to take a step back and take care of yourself. If I had done that two years ago, I wouldn’t be dealing with this ankle situation right now.
Today, I am thankful to be in an industry that is not hurting too much from this pandemic.
If I had not made the moves I have made, I could still be at a ticket brokerage, which has no events to sell tickets for. Or a real estate company, which has very little listings for the few people who are still looking to buy right now. I would for sure be on the chopping block at either of those places.
Instead, I am busier now, working from home, more hours than I was in the office. I LOVE the people I work with, we are all great at communicating, from a distance. I could not love the work I do, more. And I don’t feel too stressed out, because I feel very supported.
I am in a really great place right now, while the whole world is freaking out. It’s such a crazy feeling, when I sit back and think about it. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
The part about this pandemic that I find most interesting is how each individual person is reacting to it.
The positive get more positive, while the negative get more negative. The worriers, worry more. The anxious, get more anxious. The resourceful, get more resourceful. The kinder, get more kind. The angry, sadly, just get angrier.
The introverts are enjoying the social distancing, while the extroverts are hating it. A surprising amount of folks are truly hoarders.
The best business owners are reacting appropriately, while the worst are also following their own compass. Some folks are loving working from home, while others are hating it, or are choosing to still go into the office. I guess there’s not a one-size-fits-all, on that front.
Some companies are taking this as an opportunity to offer deals, delivery, pick up, when they usually would not. I’ve also heard stories of a daycare worker, demanding parents pay her, even if they don’t take their kids to her. Very differing ways of looking at this.
I’ve seen videos and photos of downtown Chicago, in the loop, completely deserted, which is crazy for the area. But my neighborhood, just three miles west of there, seems to be completely business as usual. People are still taking buses, there’s still plenty of cars about, people walking around.
Nothing like a tragedy to show some true colors. What kind of person are you?
Today is day five of Marc working from home. Which means, day five of us spending even more time together than we already did in the first place.
Amazingly, we were able to clean the apartment together this morning. Deep cleaning, needed to be done for quite a while. I love the feel of a freshly cleaned apartment. And all I have to do today is sit and enjoy it. Maybe do some cooking, because we have an overabundance of veggies in the fridge.
It is rush hour in Chicago, I take Sawyer out for his morning walk around the block. It’s just foggy enough to add an extra layer of eerie to the fact that there are no cars or people around.
Just a few days ago, it would be common to see one car after the other, racing down our side street, likely following their waze app on their phone, avoiding the traffic a block away on Western. Kids playing outside the school, a block over. Those “safe space” (or whatever they’re called) crossing guards on every corner, within a mile of said school. A lot of people, dressed for their day out in the world, taking their pups on one last walk, before leaving them all day.
None of this is happening out there right now. It gives off a creepy vibe, at first. But then you have to consider the fact that, very suddenly, everyone banned together (or rather, apart) to respect each other’s space.. not effect each other. That is pretty admirable.
I feel lucky to have a boss who is not a fan of employees working from home, but understands and allows it when necessary. I am happy to be surrounded by reasonable people.
I am thankful to live in a neighborhood I feel comfortable walking around in. There are two parks nearby, many pedestrians about, bike lanes, sidewalks everywhere.
There’s a nearby convenient store, several corner shops, a grocery store less than a mile away, a local produce store, a really great coffee shop, a really great in-network doctor within a block. There are some pretty decent restaurants and bars, however changing they may be. Nail places, hair places, dive bars, cocktail bars, pizza places, hole-in-the-wall places, Michelin star places, many doggy daycare options.
Easy access to public transit, buses on Western or Chicago are both a block away. Pretty much anything anyone could be looking for can be found on Western or Chicago Ave. I can get to a beach, on one bus ride.
Friendly neighbors, lots of dog lovers, affordable rent, no upstairs neighbors stomping around, giant windows, a pretty good view of downtown.
Sometimes, it’s good to remind yourself that you used to want what you have now. You don’t need to always be searching for more. Sure, a nicer place in a fancier neighborhood would be cool and all, laundry in-unit is the dream, but at least we got laundry in the damn building. And ya know.. all these other great things, too.
I know a lot of my thankful posts are all about work, and that gets boring.
But I am just bursting with gratitude to be in the company of folks who are bettering themselves. Preparing for growth, with smiles on their faces. It’s more about being excited for the growth than scared of it. And that’s such a wonderfully inspiring environment to be in.
This moment in my life, also makes me appreciative for the shitty situations I’ve been in, in the past. If it weren’t for those experiences, I wouldn’t be able to cherish this time so much. I would be more scared than excited.